I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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