i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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