Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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