just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
