Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
