So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You ate ashes out of my bong
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
