Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
