Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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