He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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