I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
