My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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