Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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