So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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