I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
