i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am one with the molecules
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
