So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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