Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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