so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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