Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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