Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
