So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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