dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think my moral compass just broke
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