Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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