Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.