Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.