She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
