bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize