omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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