Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
