i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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