508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
