it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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