I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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