Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
