i think my tv is drunk
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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