I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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