Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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