you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
