Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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