Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
