once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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