but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
