He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize