The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
pray to the hookup gods
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
