You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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