I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
