Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's just like the Real World with babies
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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