I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
