Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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