i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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