I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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