everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
