but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize