All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
