Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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