My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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