how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Terrible idea I love it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
