bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize