A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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