What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
