even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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