i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize