Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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