she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
